Monday, May 05, 2008

No Surprise Here: NIN Still Sucks

The following link has a story about the new Nine Inch Nails album. If you want to spare yourself the agony of reading yet another Pitchfork article pumping up a major musical has-been, I’ll recap for you.

The title of the article says “Yet Another Surprise New Nine Inch Nails Album” and it goes on to talk about how Trent Reznor is giving it away for free. I don’t know why this is surprising. After Radiohead forged a bold new path by virtually giving away their last crap fest for free, it’s not surprising at all that Trent Reznor would knock over his own mother jumping on this bandwagon.

This is, after all, the same guy who became immensely popular by ripping off an already existing musical style being used by Ministry and repackaging it for dumb teenagers all across America. So it should come as no surprise that this hack would immediately adopt the flavor of the month as far as album distribution. But just like his music, bland honkies in the farthest reaches of our country will find this gimmick to be unique, original and trail blazing. Reznor will once again look like a hero by recycling other people’s ideas and making them Hot Topic Ready.

Reznor offers the free album “as a thank you to our fans for your continued support.” Yeah, he definitely owes the dolts who have kept him employed for the last 18 years because without those dim bulbs he’d be selling keyboards at a Guitar Center by now.

The best part of this is that Radiohead came out and said they didn’t know if their “pay as much as you like” gambit was even worth it; thus casting doubt on the whole scheme. I’m sure Reznor just about choked on his ball gag when he heard this, having already announced his plans to give away the album. If Radiohead included a free sample of Anthrax (the biological weapon not the band) in every CD or download, Trent Reznor and every other reactionary musician with no original ideas would start asking around about a how to get some for themselves. Maybe they should put some Anthrax the band in there just make it bearable.

In short, NIN has been making music for brainless teenagers for quite awhile now. Sad, lonely teenagers who are incapable of finding better, angst filled music for themselves. Fans of this band would be wearing Insane Clown Posse makeup if they hadn’t heard NIN first. This is just another marketing trick in a long line of tricks used by this snake oil salesman in black to convince dumb people that NIN is talented, viable and deserves your attention.

I’m all for free music, but if I took a shit in my hand and held out telling you it was free, would you take my hand?



Dave H said...

Funny, my friend was listening to NIN the other day (which I hadn't heard in years), and all I could think was, "dude, we should listen to some Ministry."

Anonymous said...

does the shit come with some Anthrax (the band)?

Yeah I had to youtube some ministry the other day for a fix..just one more ;)
That psalm69 album could be released right now and make money, its pretty timeless I find.
Not a big NIN fan but at least its copying a different type of music..not say, NewKidsOnTheBlock or something.

Glad to hear you played in a band and got a feel for how hard it is to be original. It DOES make u appreciate the geniuses out there and weep for the flock.
Please hurry up and put a slightly less war-mongering lobbyist whore in the white house kthnxbye

J Reidy said...

you're right, Ministry back in the day was a mammoth fucking band.

they were punk, rock and roll, metal, 'industrial' and all that shit rolled in one out of control band....they were, at their peak, the band that signified the "underground" scene before it all blew open shortly after their zenith.

with that said, they didn't have a moody, broody front man with nice bangs and tortured persona...oh they were tortured, just not "marketable" tortured like ol' Trent Rez.

Ministry put out Land of Rape and Honey and The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste while Reznor offered up Pretty Hate Machine. Not a bad album, fairly groundbreaking, but really it's a Beach Boy's "Kokomo" compared to those ripping albums.

Then he did some market research and realized the kids like the punk rock, so he sped up his sound and appealed to the dullards with good marketing and an even better logo.

fuck him. he's a hasbeen. "Burning Inside" alone has more anger and volatile thrash in it then Reznor could ever wish for.


Anonymous said...

I come across a lot of vapid critiques by sheep. Guess what? You're another sheep. You're clueless, that much is clear. Trent is in the business of making money, not music. SInce playing clarinet in marching band, he's wanted to make money in the music business. We would sit there in the back of algebra class drawing dollar signs on the outside of the textbook while our other classmates drew Van Halen logos. When we moved to Cleveland, the sole purpose was to exploit every music opportunity to make money. And by the way... Al was on the bus with 10,000 Homo DJs. Jorgensen's Ministry was exactly the same embarrassing synth pop. He knew it, I knew, and Trent knew it. Hell... Even Maisey knew it until one night in Columbus. The sheep bought it. And we all cashed in. Period. - Chris V.

Anonymous said...

have u considered anger management?
Cuz i use to be alot like you pissed at the world renting bout everything and it worked wonders for me.....just give it some thought dude