Wednesday, June 21, 2006

American Hipsters: Your Taste is in Your Ass...Your Ass is in Your Taste

Savvy reader Delroy sent this link to some reviews that I just had to share. It pretty much sums up how I feel about it but as any good scavenger writer will do, I’m going to add my .02 cents.

Here’s the link: thanks Delroy.

I have to agree with the Radiohead comments. I loved Kid A, but they totally lost me with Amnesiac. Amnesiac sounded like out takes for Kid A and that just doesn’t fly when you’re supposed to be these alt-rock geniuses right? Kid A has all those “clicks and moans” the above review talks about but it was fresh and new then; a pretty wild departure from the brilliant OK Computer. And that’s what you want. You want your musicians to try new things and hopefully succeed. And they did with Kid A. But when Amnesiac rolled around, it sounded like more of the same. But they got a pass because they’re Radiohead.

So when Hail to the Thief came out, it sounded just slightly different than Amnesiac. Only the real diehard Radiohead fans (I know one who traveled to Spain to see them live) were getting behind it. I just found it to be confusing and boring.

So it’s pretty sad that Thom Yorke’s “solo” album is more of that same shit. I’m all for artistic expression, but when he’s just doing the same “beep, boop, click” shit, I just have to hang my head in shame. Does it mean that he’s so out of ideas that he just makes the same album over and over again? Unfortunately what’s going to happen is they’ll put out a full-on guitar album and every ass licking critic will say it’s a “return to form” or some other bullshit they read in a press kit.

Now Sonic Youth is another story. I don’t know what’s worse: the people who keep buying this crap, or the record companies who keep paying them to put it out. Let’s be honest here: Sonic Youth was never really that good. Sure they were pioneers and all that shit, but when it comes down to it, they kind of suck. They had a couple of good songs here and there, but can you honestly sit through and entire Sonic Youth album? I can’t.

Music sites like Pitchfork bend over for every Sonic Youth release and I can’t understand it. It’s kind of like the old high school quarterback from the small town who can do no wrong even though he’s fat, bald and hasn’t done shit since the state tournament in 1988. He never gets criticized just like Sonic Youth. And even though Sonic Youth isn’t raping women and getting away with it, they are raping your wallet if you keep buying their albums.

Keane? Well, they’re harmless right? Their music doesn’t make me want to kill, but it doesn’t move me in a positive way either. I think it’s pointless to waste words on them because by the time their third album rolls around, they will be a complete non-issue. I wish I could say the same for some of the others on this list.

Muse? I am at a loss. I seriously have never heard of this band and from what I read, I don’t want to know anything about them. I like to think I’m a little “up” on what music is out and about these days, but I am drawing a complete blank with Muse. I’m guessing though, and I could be wrong, that they don’t suck as bad as the next entry.

Suckjan Stevens. If you’ve read anything on here in the past couple of months, you’d know that I absolutely can’t stand Suckjan Stevens. The most overrated, over-hyped piece of stinky, hair infused dog turd that has ever graced the airwaves. And now he’s released out takes of his lame ass music. That’s like the director’s cut of Jersey Girl (a far worse Affleck film than Gigli); pointless and unbearable. Why do I need alternate versions of shit I already can’t stand? Ok sure, it’s not meant for me, but who in their right mind buys this? The writer makes the point that you don’t need this much out take offal even if you are a fan so who does this appeal to? I’ll tell you who. Weak hipsters, so desperate for cred, who will buy anything that makes them more appealing to other jerk offs who already bought into this like a Fox News zombie eating up false information like it was cum in the ass of an “All Anal All The Time” whore (just a (butt) plug for my favorite All Anal website).

Well, I’m relieved to know that somebody shares my same hefty hatred for some of the music that most (i.e. the dense record buying public) deem worthy and reputable. I guess if we all agreed it wouldn’t make for amusing commentary, so keep loving that shit America! I’ll be here waiting.



J Reidy said...

i'm going to comment on my own post because i have a follow up.

after i wrote that, i popped in Hail to the Thief just to refresh my memory about it in case i was wrong...i haven't listened to it since it came out.

so i pop it in and the first song is all kind of guitar rock-y. i remember reading that this album was supposed to be more guitar oriented.

that was all well and good, but immediately after that, it goes all "beep, boop, click" and there's even lazer beam sounds at the end of the second track. the rest is just boring as hell.

so, for my own sanity, i was right. but in being right, it's kind of a bummer because radiohead used to be good. when the "critically acclaimed" new album comes, we all know it will stink like starr jones' ass....oh woops, i forgot...not supposed to make fun of black people.

Anonymous said...

No prob JR -

Another gem from this guy